Love Your Self For No Reason

Psychologist - Fresnaye Cape Town

Mark Kahn

Animals don’t threaten me…people do!

I am lying on my bed watching a movie cuddling my gorgeous cat Frankie.

He nuzzles my hand. He purrs.

Such a magnificent connection.

Suddenly, he starts to bite me playfully. He spreads his claws and digs them into my hand.

I do my best to escape his playful wrath.

I fail.

First the pain, then the blood, slowly extruding from the wounds.

There is some resistance to the pain, but none to Frankie.

I love him and it is in his nature to do this.

Why can I not do the same when those people around me whom I supposedly love, claw at me – it’s just their nature too, but I take it personally, I am hurt.

What is this madness that says I can only truly love an animal but not a person?

 

Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results!

Everyone has heard this statement, but do you know how to work with it, to stop doing the same things, to stop behaving like an insane person?

Which gets me to the problem with inspirational quotes.

They sound great and they feel good for about 20 seconds, but the challenge is, to what extent are we putting that inspirational quote into practice right now!

As Adyashanti so wisely says, “A great insight is only as good as the surrender it engenders.”

You might therefore ask yourself the question, “In what ways am I behaving insanely right now, in this very moment?” [Read more…] about Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results!

Why Are Only 4% Of Intimate Relationships Nourishing?

Virginia Satir, a world famous family therapist says that only 4% of intimate relationships are nourishing. My personal and professional experience draws me to the same conclusion.

Why is this so?

Just to start with, I think there are 3 main reasons. [Read more…] about Why Are Only 4% Of Intimate Relationships Nourishing?

Murderous Thoughts

I am peeling the skin off of an organic carrot.

It’s a very small carrot and it’s hard to peel all of it because it is so short, holding it with one hand and trying to peel it with the other. I cut off the ends and start to peel and realize that cutting off the ends, before I’ve peeled it, has made it even shorter!!!

Spontaneously I call myself “stupid.”

It happens way too fast for me to even begin to think about stopping it.

The conditioning runs so deep.

The idea, the concept of “stupid” lurks in the darkness, waiting to obliterate the love inside of me.

Can I begin to let go of this toxic lie, that the concept of “stupid” exists as a fact.

Can I let go, more deeply than I ever have, from the depths of my being, until all that is left is the singing joy of my genius?

Great Leadership Is To Undo Your Belt And Look For Trouble!

“Leaders are there to help us to discover the greatness within us.”

Mark Peter Kahn

I’ve been a management consultant for 20 years and I’ve been coaching executives and middle managers for the last 10.

I believe that the most useful thing learned by the people I have worked with, is their shift in attitude from tense, stressed, impatient and anxious and resistant to ‘trouble’, to still and calm and modulated.

A movement away from, “I’m not good enough for this job,” to “I’m ok, I don’t have to be perfect, I can get criticized and attacked and face problems everyday and that’s ok!”

Michael hammer, the Godfather of the re-engineering process says that two most important skills necessary for success in business are attitude and creativity.

I agree with him. [Read more…] about Great Leadership Is To Undo Your Belt And Look For Trouble!