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Psychologist - Fresnaye Cape Town

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success

Jul 15 2017

Great Leadership Is To Undo Your Belt And Look For Trouble!

“Leaders are there to help us to discover the greatness within us.”

Mark Peter Kahn

I’ve been a management consultant for 20 years and I’ve been coaching executives and middle managers for the last 10.

I believe that the most useful thing learned by the people I have worked with, is their shift in attitude from tense, stressed, impatient and anxious and resistant to ‘trouble’, to still and calm and modulated.

A movement away from, “I’m not good enough for this job,” to “I’m ok, I don’t have to be perfect, I can get criticized and attacked and face problems everyday and that’s ok!”

Michael hammer, the Godfather of the re-engineering process says that two most important skills necessary for success in business are attitude and creativity.

I agree with him. [Read more…] about Great Leadership Is To Undo Your Belt And Look For Trouble!

Written by Mark Kahn · Categorized: Self Esteem · Tagged: A learning organization, anxious, attitude, avoid problems, avoidance, benefits, blessings, boardroom meetings, business, calm, calmness, careers, CEO, coaching, communication skills, conflict, corporate world, creativity, criticism, disempower, embrace problems, emotionally regulating energy, Executive coach, expanding, fix problems, follower, Growth, Henry Mintzberg, I'm not good enough, impatient, inbox, job, Leadership, Leadership skills, letting go, loneliness, look for trouble, love yourself for no reason, Management, Management consultant, managing emotions, mastery, meditation, Michael Hammer, modulated, negative thoughts, organisation, organization, perfect, problem-solving, psychology, psycotherapy, resentment, resistant, responsibility, rushing, skills, slowed down brainwave pattern, solutions, Stillness, Strategic Leadership Questions, stressed, subordinates, success, suppliers, teaching, team, tense, tranformation, undo your belt, urgency, victim position, wanting, Zorba the Greek

Feb 17 2017

How to Recognise if You Have a Self-Esteem Issue.

One of the most fascinating things about Self-Esteem is that there is a group of people – usually very successful – who do have a Self-Esteem problem, but don’t recognise it.

Then there are the people who know very definitely that they struggle in this arena.

Regarding the former group who are very successful, I see these people in my office all the time.

They are fulfilled and successful in their work and they are making money and they have immense skills in this area but the skills and the success and the confidence that they have at many levels masks the lack of Self-Esteem underlying the success.

They come out of the meeting or a conflict situation or a negotiation that has been difficult and they’ve handled it well but there is a tightness and an anxiety and a noticing of aspects where they weren’t particularly skilful. The anxiety and the tension and the perfectionism reflects a lack of Self-Esteem. What further reflects this are the ruminations about what just happened.

You know those dialogues in your head, “I should have said this, I missed that, damn I could have said that better…”

This reflects a debilitating perfectionism, always having to be better. What you have just done is not good enough. [Read more…] about How to Recognise if You Have a Self-Esteem Issue.

Written by Mark Kahn · Categorized: Self Esteem · Tagged: anxiety, apologising, approval, at peace, avoid, avoidance, behaviour, boredom, bullied, confidence, conflict situations, controlled, creativity, criticism, Dan Quayle, defend yourself, defensiveness, difficult conversations, displease others, failure, fake, Fear, freeze, Growth, hide, honesty, I'm not good enough, inauthentic, insecurities, inspiration, integrity, intuitions, judging, lack of confidence, Larry King, lies, love yourself for no reason, Manipulation, mistakes, money, movement, negotiations, not offending, Original Self-Esteem, panic, parents, passionate, perceptions, perfectionism, personality, power, prostitutes, prostitution, realmark@icon.co.za, rebel, rejection, risk, Robert Redford, searching, security, Self-Esteem, Self-Esteem Quiz, skills, spirit, stagnate, success, Suffering, teachers, tightness, Time magazine, unworthiness

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