Mark Kahn

“We abandon ourselves because we were abandoned.”

Mark Peter Kahn

I had tea with a great friend of mine Barbara Kuppers – an amazing TRE trainer and facilitator – bsassy@telkomsa.net,  a couple of weeks ago. We got to talking about her daughter who’s just had a child. He is now six months old. She described to me what a magnificent mother her daughter is. She isn’t constantly shovelling food into the kid’s mouth at prescribed times as all of her friends are doing with their kids, as recommended by the paediatric clinic.

She comforts her child when he is upset and lets him eat when he’s hungry. She doesn’t immediately pacify him when he’s upset, with food – as so many mothers do. She’s listening to his needs and not parenting from her own anxiety and having to rescue him and make him feel better the moment he is distressed. [Read more…] about Great Parenting for Self-Esteem

“Some regrets and some mistakes, we want happiness but we can’t hold her.”

All that matters – by Cliff Richard.

 

This week’s blog is the longest I’ve written. My inspiration in the writing of it, was unstoppable. I hope you’ll stay the course with me.

It can be very distressing, not being happy enough.

Most people want to be happy.

Some people are so unhappy that they have given up on happiness and just want to die.

Outside of this group you might say that the wanting to be happy is the strongest motivation on the planet. [Read more…] about How Not To Be Happy!

I’ve been having the most creative time in my life this year. It’s been deeply inspiring and gratifying. However…isn’t there so often a ‘however.’

I have so much going on, the publication and marketing of my book, managing social media, managing my health which is no small thing given years of chronic fatigue and of course seeing clients – the stress of it all! [Read more…] about The Best Way to Relieve Stress.

I got smash and grabbed at gunpoint Saturday night a week ago.

I pulled off the highway –  rather foolish it would seem – just before the entrance to OR Tambo International Airport. I was a little early to collect my partner Suzie from her plane trip from Cape Town and I didn’t want to get chased away at the arrivals point by security. A couple of minutes after pulling over, there’s this incredibly loud bang and I turn and see a guy standing at the passenger side window, having broken the glass, with a gun pointed at me.

My moment of truth.

I’m facing potential death. My anxiety was immense, partly because of the shock of the noise which was really very loud. [Read more…] about Improving Your Perceptions.

I’m working with a client on his Self-Esteem. At the end of the session, he says that he has lost his last invoice and needs a copy of it. In making this request, the tone in his voice and his body language is deeply, desperately and agonizingly apologetic.

I share my observation of this contorted apology with him and he says that he suddenly understands what the whole issue of internal power means in relation to Self-Esteem. The apology was completely redundant and out of place and it reflects how he is devaluing himself, not feeling he is good enough. [Read more…] about Self-Love is Not Apologizing for Being You!