Don’t Abandon Your Self-Esteem.

How much of your life do you spend trying to be a better person, a perfect person?

What are the costs of doing so?

Last week our beautiful 16-year-old cat named Guinevere – that’s her in the pic above – went into kidney failure. We admitted her to the Sunninghill Village Vet, a truly amazing and loving group of people who take care of sick animals. She was on a drip for 3 ½ days and struggling to eat and looking frail and vulnerable and we felt so sad and helpless at her pain and at the same time so much love came pouring out of us for this dear soul whom we have loved for so many years.

She came home for another four days but just wouldn’t eat and the only option was to kiss her goodbye and send her into the next world. [Read more…] about Embracing Your Imperfections.

There are worldwide, 37 million people in slavery. More than at any time in history.

The rest of us think we are free to live the life we want.

Think again.

We live enslaved, by our a conditioned minds. [Read more…] about Are You Living In Slavery?

It’s Wednesday morning and I’m bouncing joyfully along the sleek tiled floors of the Mall of Africa on my way to having a haircut.

I walk past a shop that smells absolutely delectable.

It’s called Cinnabon.

You might know that I have this chronic fatigue thing and I can’t eat wheat and sugar and a gazillion other things, so beautiful, warm cinnamon buns – or whatever else they sell, I didn’t look – as delightful as they might seem, are the worst thing in the world for me.

Short-term, I want the pleasure of eating them, long-term they are a train smash.

I’m sure that you know the story well.

You want something now but the cost of having it lurks in the recesses of your troubled mind.

It is perhaps one of the greatest challenges we all face as human beings.

Managing our addiction to pleasure. [Read more…] about Escaping The Pleasure Trap.

I had one of the most spectacular moments ever in a therapy session last week.

I’m working with a mother and her 18-year-old daughter.

They have communication problems. The mother really cares about her daughter but she is controlling and wants to rescue her from all of the problems the daughter has in her life, particularly with men – not exactly a rare event!

The daughter is very sensitive and feels the mother’s anger and need to control her, which threatens the daughter and she withdraws.

This has been happening for many years. [Read more…] about How To Stop Being A Rescuer.

I’m sitting down at my desk on a Sunday morning to write this blog. The room is bright with sunlight, I feel at home in this beautiful space.

There is a picture of myself on the desk.

I am four years old.

I’m bright and awake and happy.

There are certificates on the wall in front of me, all of my credentials – whatever that means – and pictures of Mozambique, of Cathedral Peak in the Drakensberg and a very small mountain called Rhenosterkop, which I used to look at from my home north of Johannesburg, many years ago.

I’m thinking about what I should write for my next blog. I’ve written dozens of them in the last 18 months and I know that they just come to me unannounced, spontaneously, out of nowhere…or perhaps from Pure Consciousness.

They come as a gift to me. Largely speaking I don’t have to work out what I’m going to say. More and more I sense that there isn’t a particular ‘me’ that is doing this, which is why they are just a gift to me and hopefully, to you.

Yet subtly beneath this trusting and knowing that what I want to talk about will come of its own accord there is, every so often an anxiety. Much softer and more subtle than in the past, but there nevertheless, lurking and wanting to pounce and dilute the true magic of this creative energy that comes through me.  [Read more…] about The Right Way To Live.