Self Esteem

Here’s a quick summary of how some of the major therapies try to help us.

Sigmund Freud said that we are welded to the pleasure principle. We are chasing pleasure and running from pain. He also said that our instinct for sex and aggression were balanced by our conscience which is always trying to control us. Meanwhile, the ego (not in the everyday sense of the word) is trying to manage all of this.

Cognitive behaviour therapy says that our thinking creates our problems. Our fear and anxiety is created by our belief systems, change the beliefs and the problem disappears. Byron Katie says the same thing, but she works with it from a spiritual perspective.

Gestalt therapy says, own your disowned parts and get into the present moment.

Carl Jung says that we need to own our shadow, our dark side, know our archetypes, integrate and we will heal.

Client Centered therapy says that all we need to do is listen really carefully to our clients and this will enable healing to happen. Often it does. [Read more…] about Every Snowflake Is Unique – So Are You!

I have never had a client ask me what is the one thing most likely to transform their suffering.

I wonder why?

The answer is, to learn to drop your expectations.

I often hear people say, “Life so difficult.” My response is “Compared to what? ” [Read more…] about Are You Addicted To Your Expectations?

When I was 13 years old I was caught cheating in a test by my teacher, Miss Strano.

I can still remember the sound in my head of us having to say each morning “Gooood morrrning Miss Straano,” in this singsong, manufactured tone of voice.

Being in her class felt like a Gestapo training college.

She taught us how to write ‘properly’.

“Sit up straight, tuck your writing arm elbow into your waist, pen must point out of the window at 45 degrees!”

Since then, my writing is illegible.

The classroom with this woman was the perfect picture of tyranny. [Read more…] about “I’m A Cheat!”

Of course your motor vehicle is more dangerous than ISIS.

If you just look at the numbers of deaths caused by motor vehicles, you would have to consider them as weapons of mass destruction.

1,25 million people were killed in 2016 by motor vehicles worldwide.

25,000 people were killed by terrorists worldwide during this time. What is really interesting is that the majority of these attacks occurred in Arab States.

A motor car is 50 times more likely to kill you than a terrorist.

And not just ‘by the way’, 50 million people died in WW II. This is less than all of the people who have died worldwide from motor accidents in the 70 years since then. [Read more…] about Is Your Motor Car More Dangerous Than ISIS?

I’m watching the latest season of the X factor UK.

I so love music.

I mean, I really love music.

I play the guitar and the piano, not too well and you might know that I believe that failure is not a fact, it’s just a concept. Well, according to societal conditioning I have failed to learn to read music for the piano. Multiple attempts over many years and I still can’t read beyond grade 1 level.

But is it in fact a failure or just a disappointment?

I think the latter.

Interestingly our cat Guinevere, who died a few months ago – wrote a blog about that – loved my piano playing. She would approach from some distance and rub up against my legs whenever I played. Amy, another cat hates it. As soon as my fingers touch the keys, she bolts from the room.

I wonder who is the better judge of my music?

Back to the X factor. [Read more…] about Is There Magic Inside You?